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Top 5: Beers I Love

Hooray, subjectivity!

Beers are funny, like lots of other things, in that what might be my absolute favorite beer could be one that you'd think is, well, shit.

And on that note, I present the Top 5 beers that I'll always order.

#5: Sierra Nevada Pale Ale
Mmm... A fine, fine beer. It's rich and smooth and probably has more flavor than any other beer I've ever enjoyed. Sometimes, the flavors in a beer can overwhelm and ruin the enjoyment of it. But not so with Sierra. I know this is going to sound funny and perhaps cliched, but I can drink Sierra after Sierra and not get sick of it. It just keeps going down.

#4: Guinness
Brilliant! (Ok, that was lame. Sue me.) Whenever I'm out with a group of people and I order a Guinness, one person always scrunches up their nose and says something like, "I don't know how you can drink that stuff." And I'll tell you all something: it's an acquired taste, plain and simple. The first time I ever drank a Guinness I couldn't stand it. And then I started combining it with Woodpecker Cider, in a drink that has a different name depending on which bar you order it at. And more and more, I grew to love my Guinness. Now I wouldn't even think of pairing it with something else. Perhaps it's a common selection for a list such as this, as it's one of the most popular beers in the world, but, well, too bad.

#3: Brooklyn Lager
Whenever I have a friend come into town for a visit, I always make sure to bring them somewhere to try out a Brooklyn, the showpiece beer of the Brooklyn Brewery. Located in a neighborhood that was once one of the busiest brewing neighborhoods in the country, the single best place to taste this beer is at the brewery itself. Open on Friday nights and Saturday afternoons it's the freshest version of a damned tasty beer you're going to get your hands on. My friends and I make Saturday trips to the brewery every couple of months, armed with a deck of UNO cards and an appetite for cheap beer and ordered-in pizza. If you're in town visiting, make this a stop on your touring. If you're a local to NYC and haven't been, shame on you.

#2: Hoegaarden
This is a funny beer... Not in the way it tastes, but in how much it polarizes people. For one thing, it's near-fluorescent yellow color scares away so-called "beer drinkers." Add to that the slice of lemon that's traditionally served with it, and most just assume it's a fruit-flavored, or girly (if you'll excuse the term), drink. It's not. When served from a fresh keg (and unfortunately, sometimes it sits around too long and the kegs get stale) it has a sharp and crisp taste with just a little bit of citrus. For me, served ice-cold, it's the perfect summer beer. More and more bars seem to have it these days, and at any bar that calls themselves a brew-pub or whatever they're bound to have the Belgian gem. A great little piece of tradition: the first Hoegaarden of the day should be fully consumed in a mere 3 gulps.

#1: Paulaner Hefe-Weissbier
So here it is. Number One. It was a tight race between Paulaner and Hoegaarden, and if you know both of these beers there are strong similarities between them. Both are unfiltered wheat beers, both tend to be served with a lemon wedge (at least in the US; never in Germany). But you'll rarely get the funny looks from the Bud-drinkers among your group for drinking Paulaner. It looks like a normal beer, just cloudy. But it tastes much more rich than you're likely used to. Hefeweizen is a style of German beer, and between my beer drinking around here and on my trips to Germany, Paulaner's is the best I've had. Also becoming more and more common around town, it should be easy to find. It gets top spot here on this list simply due to the fact that it's remained among my group of greatly-loved beers for the longest of any of the 5 here today. Beers come and go for all of us, it's a trend/streak thing or a mood thing or a seasonal thing, but Paulaner's Hefe-Weissbier has stuck through everything.

The Nietzsche Family Circus

First off, a note of thanks... This is our first reader-submitted item. Thanks Jen. And now, onto the item in question.

I'm not much of a philosopher. I try to keep an outlook on life that's a little more intellectual than most, but I can't say that I'm at all familiar with the greater works of the philosophers of this world.

But I do know funny (or at least what I think is funny, and screw everyone else quite honestly), and I do know smart. And this is both.

Losanjealous is basically an LA-centric blog, info on music and food and other cultural-type things going on there. Honestly, it's alright, but my interest in events taking place in other places is, how do you say, tiny. Either I don't give a shit because I just don't give a shit, or it's something I'm going to wish upon wishing that I could be at. In the end, I tend not to read this sort of stuff.

But this item, listed under the Losanjealous Labs section, is great. They take a randomly generated Family Circus cartoon and pair it with a randomly generated Friedrich Nietzsche quote. Some of the panels and quotes pair together so well you almost question the randomness of the groupings. Either way, funny stuff.

The Nietzsche Family Circus.

Johnnie Walker Green

Ok, so my bottle reads "Johnnie Walker Pure Malt" but what's out there now in U.S. liquor stores is the same thing.

A combination of around 15 single malts, it has the taste of a single single malt (if you catch what I mean there). When I grabbed it, last spring in a duty free shop in some airport somewhere or other, it had its former name. It was informally known as the Green Label, and only international travelers could get their hands on it. But thanks to its quality and popularity, Johnnie Walker decided to formally give it a color and put it into the U.S. market.

I'm a whisky drinker, of Scotch and bourbon primarily, but I'm not exactly a connoisseur. As such, I can't sit here and tell you about specifics like color and palette and all that stuff. What I can tell you is that I like it, plain and simple. It's got a nice overall taste to it, and it's drinkable whenever I'm in the mood for something like that. I wish I could say more, to try and sway you into giving a shot, but I just can't. How about, let's just chalk this piece up to a generally unconvincing one. Sorry.

I'm not suggesting you run out to buy a bottle, because I think that taste in booze is about as subjective as things can get. But maybe the next time you're out and about to order yourself a cocktail, and if you happen to catch a glimpse of the bottle behind the bar, perhaps you'll order yourself one and give it a shot.

Johnnie Walker Green.

Dwight Schrute Bobblehead

I know the very first thing you're going to say, you who doesn't bother with NBC's version of The Office. You're about to say to me, "Screw the US version. I just watch my old BBC DVD's."

And to this I say, "Fair enough, for the original was quite outstanding. But, if you really haven't given the American version a chance, you're missing out."

Ok, I'm done having imaginary conversations with myself now. But I'll continue talking to you fine people.

Seriously, if you're not watching this show, you should. It's smart and it's funny, and those are two things which are sorely lacking on network TV (and are in even higher demand now that Arrested Development is gone). Where else can you see a man tell a camera that he's going to "drop a deuce on everyone"? Yeah, that's what I thought.

In a great episode last year, Dwight Schrute, Assistant (to the) Regional Manager (a.k.a. the American Gareth), a bobblehead junkie, was given one of himself by his girlfriend. It was so funny, that NBC decided to mass produce and sell them.

Is it gimicky? Sure. Is it this decade's version of buying a Central Perk coffee mug? Maybe (though you'd never have caught me with that crap). But it is funny. And it may just be about to get a place of honor on my desk, right next to Mr. Met, Ralph Kiner/Bob Murphy, and Curt Schilling. That's some pretty hallowed company where I come from, let me tell you.

For $15.00, it'll surely get a good laugh from any fans who happen to wander past your cube, and it'll probably result in some good time wasting when they stop to talk with you about it. And then you'll be promoted, and everything will be better for you, I promise. This is career advancement I'm talking about here, people, so listen up.

Dwight Schrute Bobblehead.

Classic Movies: The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension

When I was a kid, I loved this movie. It was just sci-fi enough, just funny enough,and just goofy enough.

My father used to make fun of me for liking this movie. This, and Baron Munchausen. But I never cared. Buckaroo Banzai was a classic. I knew it then, and I still know it today.

I remember being intrigued by the tag in the closing credits, that Buckaroo would return. Alas, it never happened, though there were buzzings around for a while that it might just pop back up. There was talk of a possible TV show, and I saw some test CGI footage, but that passed too. To be honest, maybe it's just as well. As much as I'd love to see a new story, maybe things are better off being left as they were. Don't fuck with a good thing, and a good memory.

When the DVD was finally released in 2002, I was thrilled. I ordered it right away, and as soon as it arrived I got home and watched that night, and it was just as good as I remembered. I hadn't seen it in ages. Sure, it pops up in TV now and then, but it seems like not nearly as often these days. It's a damn shame if you ask me. People need to see this movie.

What have you got? Well, you've got a surreal plot about a race of aliens, the Red Lectroids, coming to conquer Earth, and a representative from the Black Lectroids, their mortal enemies, who want to help us stop them. Oh, and you've got Peter Weller, Jeff Goldblum, John Lithgow, and Christopher Lloyd.

Trust me, you can't go wrong on this one.

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension.

Presidential Doodles: Two Centuries of Scribbles, Scratches, Squiggles and Scrawls from the Oval Office

I'm a guy who's always interested in knowing what goes on inside the minds of others; what's happening behind the curtains.

Our Presidents, and sure, some of us prefer certain over others, are interesting characters to me. These men have done something that a incredibly small number before them have managed to do. They may not always run at the highwat wattages available, but there's something inside those minds that leads them to a level of greatness that few of us will ever see.

So when something comes along that gives me an inside peek into the brains, into the parts that are so typically kept private, of such people, I'm intrigued. Every time. And here, one such book has come along.

Psychologists claim that examining and studying the doodles of others can be an insightful way into their inner minds. The publishers of Cabinet Magazine have issued a book which compiles and explains the doodles of some of our country's most studied public figures. The concept is unique and insightful, and it's bound to give you a look inside the Presidency that you've never had before.

Presidential Doodles: Two Centuries of Scribbles, Scratches, Squiggles and Scrawls from the Oval Office.

Awful Plastic Surgery

We all have guilty pleasures.

You're doing whatever it is that's making you happy, and you're loving every minute of it, but the second someone pops their head by your desk to see what's making you laugh out loud, you immediately change over to some spreadsheet or e-mail, claiming it was nothing.

It's ok. You're embarrassed, and I get it. You're looking at something that you might like, but you think everyone else will think you're foolish for checking out.

Well, here's the truth: You're not the only one. And I've got another one for you.

The authors of this site are anonymous, and once you see it you'll understand why. They're casting aspersions on celebrities, suggesting that perhaps they're not quite all natural, if you catch my drift (which isn't really that hard to catch here).

Awful Plastic Surgery.

Zach Galifianakis vs. Johnny Fairplay

If you don't know who Zach Galifianakis is, you need to go to his site first. Plain and simple. Learn, and from this learning you shall become a better human being.

If you don't know who Johnny Fairplay is, well then... well I didn't either, except that he was some reality TV guy.

I guess one night, probably in LA, Johnny Fairplay was seeing Zach perform. My read on Zach is that he's a guy who's not going to suffer fools too well, and my read on everything I've ever seen on Fairplay is that he's a fool. So what do you think happens?

Exactly, my newly-learned friends. He turned his act into a thrashing of Fairplay.

The genius who videotaped this (or at least videotaped the audio and Zach's feet) came up with a great name, basing it off of a CD sold on Patton Oswalt's website:

Zach Galifianakis vs. Johnny Fairplay vs. Alcohol.

N

Sometimes, you just miss the boat on something cool. Sucks when that happens, but the beauty is that you can always make up for lost time.

My only consolation about missing out on N initially is that so did everyone else I know. So either my friends and I are all idiots, or it wasn't quite so easy to come by.

N has been out since May 2005, and in that time it's won a number of gaming awards. It's fun, it's addictive, and it's pretty damn challenging at times, leaving me cursing at my computer more than once. The true genius behind it is that it uses a realistic physics simulation to control movement and momentum, adding to the level of difficulty. They say it's inspired by the old classic Lode Runner, and I can see that. To me, it reminds me of a game I used to play on my old Atari 800 called Jumpman. Not sure why, it just does.

Oh, and the best part about N? It's free. Entirely free.

Download it. Download it today.

N, from Metanet Software.

BlackBerry Pearl

I'm a self-professed BlackBerry junkie. Just ask my friends. The most common thing they say to me goes something like, "Would you put that fucking thing down?"

Every since I got my first one, 5 years ago, I've been hooked. And the devices have kept on getting better and better. As much as I wasn't a big fan of the concept of predictive text typing, I went out and got myself a 7100 last year when they came out, wanting a better phone.

The next generation of the SureType models is coming, this week. T-Mobile is due to be the launch carrier for the newest BlackBerry model, the Pearl (or 8100). It's small and light, with a camera and MP3 player (I know, generally not features most BlackBerry users go for), and it just looks plain good. It's RIM's answer to the Q.

I haven't actually played with it yet, but plenty of others have had a chance to check out advance versions, and while it's not a perfect device it looks good. I figure the worst case, it's form over function, much like my old Motorola V70.

Want an idea what people are saying about the Pearl? Google, engage. Specifically, the folks over at Engadget had a great advance review.

Official site, you ask for? No problem.

BlackBerry Pearl Official Site.